My tea was a mess.  I sort of tried to keep it in 3 containers–one blacks, one herbals and one everything else.  But it was totally unappealing and confusing and all the bags were different sizes and I would end up forgetting about the awesome tea I had.

Until today! I went on a taxonomic spree!

My new sections, totally skewed for my tastes in order of size are:

Herbals (Hibiscus, Mints & Chamomiles, oh my!)

Earl Greys & Flavored Blacks (i.e. almonds mainly)

Chais (I <3 all kinds of them)

Greens & Whites (I don’t love either)

Unflavored Blacks (Breakfast Teas & British stuff mainly)

Iced Teas (mixes, and tea you can brew cold)

Drink Mixes (Kool Aids, Tang, Emergen-C powder)

Now, this goes against most things I teach people to do.  I mean, ideally there would be a large box called Blacks and there would be boxes inside called Flavored and Unflavored and inside Flavored would be Earl Greys, Nutty, Fruity, etc.  But I have three bags of fruity black tea, and I don’t want to open up 3 matryoshka-like containers to get to them!  And Drink Mixes aren’t even tea!  What about Tisanes?  Well those aren’t invited to my house.  And when I want Hibiscus tea, I have to remember I have herbal non-caffeinated hibiscus tea in the Herbals and Green Hibiscus in the Greens.  Harumph.  Real things can’t really be polyhierarchied, unless I split it into two bags which seems a step too crazy.

Even though my system isn’t perfect, I can take heart that 1. it’s just tea and 2. it works! At least I made sure to use consistent plurals.  This taxo project was constrained by the number and size of tea containers I own.  The latter is not a constraint I usually deal with.  And my hatred of Tisanes was sort of like a political issue that constrains real life projects.

Only organizing digital things makes me forget sometimes how people look for tangible things.  Or maybe that’s an excuse to try and get a lesson out of my compulsion.  Either way, come drink some tea!

Things I have not done in more than a month:

1. Drunk more than 2 beers in a row.
2. Read a non-electronic book.
3. Listened to my music library.
4. Read a magazine.
5. Been home alone.
6. Been naked for more than 10 mins.
7. Cooked anything.
8. Eaten salmon
9. Had the Internet at home.
10. Read an audiobook.

Since these are my favorite things ever, this is sad. Soon these will be rectified, but in the meantime, in the words of Morrissey, if I seem a little strange, well that’s because I am.

I will be going to SXSW again this year and doing one new thing (presenting/moderating) and one old thing (library meetup).

NEW THING:
I will be moderating and contributing to a panel entitled Kicking Ass with Controlled Metadata.  Also on the panel are Tom Conrad of Pandora.com and Tim Spalding of LibraryThing.  I think it will be awesome to hear people telling everyone from Web 2.0 that good expert-created metadata can be more useful and moneymaking that crowdsourcing tagging.  But that is my hobbyhorse, ain’t it? Follow the link for deets on attending.

OLD THING:
Library Worker Hoedown Lunch 2009– I have been running this for three years now, which is shockingly long to me.  I’ve met some of the coolest people at this thing.  And, best of all, non-librarian techies come and tell us all the dirt on how much they hate their tech hating librarians. :)  A lot of people from all kinds of gigs come and we’ve been getting a lot of law people, directors, IT peeps.  It’s a good time and especially good for new people who come to the conference alone and know no one.  It’s Sat. Mar. 14 at 12:30 at Iron Cactus on 6th and Trinity.

I will also be having an “important” birthday the day after these two things.  Doing two awesome library metadata things and then drinking to excess with excellent Mexican food is my ideal way to celebrate the one-two punch of Pi Day & the Ides of March.

So if you are coming to Austin (or already there!) let me know! We’ll have tacos.

I am not the most religious or holiday oriented person.  Okay, that’s an understatement.  But there’s one Christmas tradition I love, it’s Advent Calendars.  Perhaps it is the lure of chocolate, but I like surprises every day–doesn’t everyone?  I have always been left cold by the digital versions of Advent Calendars.  However there’s one that does it well every year.  It makes me feel like a kid, and the prize is—cheap flights to Scandanavia!  I haven’t bought any flights yet from them, but here’s hoping this year.  Even if you have no plans to fly abroad next year, the animations every year are fun.  Check it out here.

So a lot of airlines now don’t have nuts theoretically because too many people are deahly allergic to them.  I think it’s actually the airlines being cheap, but hey, in this case let me give them the benefit of the doubt.

Airlines allow people to bring pets on board though.  Yes, I can mitigate my allergy, but having had an asthma attack while on allergy meds, I’d prefer not to find out if they are working in the recycled air of a plane full of allergens miles above civilization.  The best is that even though regulations usually require a pet to be in a cage, people always take them out and play with them, pass em around, and flight attendants do nothing.

I don’t understand why planes still allow this, especially in these times of cutbacks.  If I can’t even bring luggage, why can people still bring Meowzers?

A post on the Google blog post pointed out that New Orleans has street view on Google Maps now.  A lot of it is really good.  And a lot of it makes me ashamed to be American.  I urge you to take a look.  Flood St. is a great place to start.  The number of moving vans you see in these, and the advertisements for home buying, are interesting.

Air Canada makes you pay for heavy bags, unless they are filled with hockey equipment.

Nikolai Tesla was obsessed with communication with aliens (odd fact one).  When he died he left behind what appeared to be a molted skin, like he literally shuffled off his mortal coil (odd fact two), which leads people to believe maybe he was an alien or time traveler (odd fact three).  The FBI kept tabs on Nikolai, and his file is still sealed (odd fact four), further bolstering the aforementioned belief that he is an alien.

This is really interesting, along with the other maps on that site.   The conflation of Maine and The Bronx amuses me.  As someone in the comments mentions, it is a great argument against the electoral college.

Sent to me by Richard, this is well worth a look if you are a Chicago lover.

Author: Hefner, Hugh

The Mole has always been one of my favorite reality tv shows.  The first season had Anderson Cooper, and that itself would be good enough.  But it’s also the thinking man’s (or lying man’s) reality tv show.   Basically, someone on the show is working for the show to try and fake out the other people.  The viewer doesn’t know who the mole is.  The second season was “Celebrity Mole” with Kathy Griffin and Stephen Baldwin.  Brilliant.  I haven’t seen Seasons 3 or 4.

This season kind of sucks.  There’s really only one guy I like.  There was an awesome whiner who almost died anytime they had to do anything physical because he was malnourished and asthmatic.  But there is one good character I love/hate.  The faux Omarosa.  The bitchy character is a Chicago OB/GYN who won my heart on the first episode when someone told her she had to do something and her reply was, “All I have to do is stay black and die!”

I would not usually write about The Mole.  But here’s the odd thing.  Every episode, The Bitch character wears at least two different outfits that are emblazoned with UIUC insignias.  Who on earth has that many different pieces of college clothing!?  Though it is irrational, it totally makes me think she is the mole, and being paid by UIUC.  She’s not really giving UIUC a great reputation, unless their new ad campaign is, “The undergraduate institution which turns out spoiled brats who make a lot of money.”  Hmm that is somewhat true though I don’t know that they’d sing that from the hills.

So one of my favorite bands has toured my time zone, to my knowledge, once. I got to see them then, but it was about 7 years ago. And they’re playing tonight. And I cannot tell you how excited I am. For a long, long time they never toured here and no one knew who they were so I stopped even attempting to follow them! You couldn’t get any of their albums here. And I thought that went away with digital, but no. Then their music was used on The Sopranos (the best part of the show, IMO), so everyone I knew kind of scoffed at their music. It’s been a hard road! But there’s not many other bands that sample Jim Jones in their country techno, so it’s not like I could find another outlet.

I can’t even imagine seeing them in a venue this large. But I can only imagine it will be awesome.

I also got to see Devo last week, who I have always wanted to see. Seeing both of these bands I have been waiting years to see in one week is crazy! But exciting.

Growl

It gives you little popup messages when your downloads are done or a variety of other programs that have opted in.

Simplify Media

I have been singing its praises for months and it just keeps getting better and better.  I can listen to my entire iTunes library at work with very little effort.  Even better, I can listen to my friends’ libraries and see what they are listening to in mine.

Library Elf

This is pretty niche, admittedly, but if you check books out from a lot of different libraries, or your libraries don’t send you email updates, this is amazing.  It sends me messages when my books are on hold, about to be overdue, overdue, etc.  And it even recommends books I might like based on my library usage.  Brilliant.

Recipezaar

I have always loved Recipezaar.  They have faceted their search for a long time, but they revamped it a while ago, and I didn’t use it as much.  Now that I have gotten used to it, I like it, though not everything is tagged as effectively as I’d like.  I realize that most people don’t care to the extent I do though, and it is extremely helpful to look for, say, rhubarb recipes that aren’t dessert–a search which cancels out 90% of the results to just what I wanted.  I also like that you can specify which cooking implements you want to use.

H&M Viscose Over-the-Knee Socks

I have a sneaking suspicion they are getting rid of these, but they are amazing.  Knee socks that stay up.  I buy most of my socks at H&M and I am totally devoted to these.  Never did I think I would be buying 7 dollar socks while thinking, “What a deal!”  But I do.  I love you H&M Viscose OTK!

Kool-Aid

I was made fun of for this, but I still drink Kool Aid.  I didn’t know there was an age limit on delicious.  Summer=Kool Aid.  If you really are having a bad day, go here and make the slimmed down Kool Aid man dance.  Him screaming, “Yeah, Oh YEAH!” over rap beats is totally frightening.  I went to the website to try and find out if I can still buy a Kool Aid Man pitcher, but no info there.  I also took this opportunity to look up the Tang website which still doesn’t exist.  I did find an awesome product locator though which told me basically I need to go to Jersey for Sugar Free Tang.  Or Flushing?  Apparently the Chinese love sugar free Tang. Awesome.

Seat Guru

I check this before I fly every time.  Knowledge is power.

so hot *I* am drinking Miller Lite.  That hot.

this made me happy, though I may also be swooning from heat.  100 degrees feels like suck.

My family can’t keep track of my friends.  They make fun of me that I have friends in every city. And a friend mentioned today that I travel a lot.  Except I was sad I was doing so little traveling this year.  Ha.  I take for granted never staying in one place, always having someone in the next port.

And I have been in a relative (to me) slump, and lots of people called, texted, emailed, or came by plane, train, or car to help me out.  Not because I asked, or not necessarily just to see me, but that’s how my friends are.  They’ll take a 4 hour bus trip to see me when I am in a town nearby.  And I will do the same.  And you might not think that’s weird, but I think most people do.  Because a lot of people won’t even pick you up at the airport 15 mins from their house.  And my friends will.  Because they are super, super awesome.

And I am not the easiest person to help.  As my friend Grace said, “You are the most independent person I know.”  I take that as an extreme compliment, but I am realizing it’s also a bad thing.  Or it can be.  My favorite movie is Showgirls, and though people ridicule it (as do I), there’s a scene where the main character (who runs out of every scene rather than deal with anything) is told:

“You got your arms straight out, saying, ‘Back off, motherfucker.’”
“Yeah, you got that down. BACK OFF, MOTHERFUCKER!”

It’s my nature to have my hands straight out yelling, “Back off, motherfucker.” (Hereafter referred to as BOMF). I don’t need your help, why won’t you just let me do it by myself?  It’s a hereditary stubbornness, combined with an upbringing where I could never do anything alone.  I am hardwired to do things for myself, by myself, and I am not comfortable with asking for help or even realizing when people are offering it.  Asking for help feels like conning a mark to me.  But my friends are awesome, because they help anyway.  They self-correct for my BOMFy tendencies.  And that’s good.  I know a few other BOMFy people and I think sometimes we just have to be sat down (literally or metaphorically) by our friends and told to accept help.

So, thanks everyone.  You rule.  Whether you force me to leave the house, listen to my late-night calls, take my ims, offer advice, realize when I am roundaboutly asking for help because you know it’s hard for me to ask directly, or get out of the way when I am yelling, “Back off, motherfucker!” you are helping.  And I am trying to put my hands down and shut up more often.

Everything you need to know you can learn from Showgirls, in my opinion.  In the future, all writing will prove that.

I see you sitting behind me on the plane in coach announcing to your friend on the phone that the 600K you make at work is “tight.”  Then why are you behind me in coach?

I understand you don’t have a lot of leg room, what with your huge, huge cock requiring you to spread your legs wide open.  It must be hard for you to corral them during takeoff while I have to LEGALLY put my laptop under the seat as asked by the stewardess.  You could suck it up for three minutes.  You could ask me to move it.  But I forgot rules do not apply to you.  What will you do instead?  Oh yes, kick my machine, repeatedly harder and harder until it dislodges onto the floor.

So will you be giving me the 2K for a replacement in cash?   Or will I just copiously fart on you the entire plane ride?

I think we both know the answer,

~J

My mom:

“You are not effing up your life, or I will kick your ass. I will. Do you feel guilty? You better not! Or I will kick your ass! I will!”

I think I need to sell merch with this new mom catchphrase, “I will kick your ass! I will!”

“There’s no such thing as a perfect man.  You should just stay single.  It’s very hard for two people to live together.  And then a baby comes and the men get crazy because they don’t get attention.”

I will be in Chicago May 21-27.  Sadly it is not for IML but for a parent health update.

So I will probably be doing little outside of the Belmont/Cumberland area, but I will be oppressively bored and unhappy!  So local bars are definitely a good option.  I will be back briefly in Sept. too.

Those of you in Central IL, and possibly KY and TN will get a jennyvisit in Sept.  Details to follow.

Is there a place I can move with less vegetation and fewer trees than NYC?  Because clearly there’s too many here, as I want to poke myself in the eye every 12 seconds.  Stupid trees.

Why is it cheaper to fly from NYC to Moline, IL than from NYC to CHICAGO, even when there is a layover IN Chicago.  You know, Chicago, busiest airport in the freaking country?

If I just buy the Moline ticket and get off in Chicago will people think I am a terrorist?

From Genie, an interesting story, with a more amazing quotation:

“It’s unfortunate that anyone whose name ends in a vowel is connected with organized crime,” Onesto said at the court hearing.

By which I think he MEANS to say it’s unfortunate that people THINK that, not that people whose last name end in vowels actually ARE in the mob.  Or at least I hope.

I never see anyone famous, mainly because I do not pay attention. I do enjoy the weird tension when a famous person does walk down the street and people pretend to not know who they are. I did see someone famous today so here’s my list of sightings thus far:

• Malcolm Gladwell (outside of the Gourmet Garage. I had previously met him at a book signing, so this was a TOTAL letdown. But the hair was awesome.)
• Kid Rock (in the elevator at work)
• Three Six Mafia (work elevator)
• Marky Ramone (in the audience at CBGB)
• Dustin Diamond (walking out of a Persian restaurant near the Whitney with his hand in a girl’s pants)
• Martin Scorcese (outside of the Pod Hotel, walking with grocery bag)
• Al Sharpton (today, outside of a parking garage/public library across from MOMA)
• Ira Glass (outside of a subway stop on the UWS, talking to a friend about how weird it is when fans recognize him.  I am not going to lie, I had to repress screaming like a Beatles fan)

This would seem to say I should only go to work and art museums.

New Yorker sightings I would love to have:

• Anderson Cooper
• Woody Allen
• An Olsen twin
• Lou Reed
• Chuck Klosterman

though maybe not in the way I would have liked.

If you lived in Italy, but grew up in Germany, and you came to New York City, what is the food you’d be LEAST likely to choose to eat?  Probably Italian.  Yet, that’s exactly what the Pope is getting.  Poor Pope.  Get the guy a knish!  Or some Asian fusion!  Some cheesecake!   Who takes a visitor out for their own food?

Also are people really afraid someone’s going to poison the Pope’s food?  What is this 1600?   Does the Pope wield and power whatsoever?  I am still exceedingly perplexed why anyone who isn’t Catholic cares about this.

While looking for a news story about a cougar found roaming the streets of Chicago, I was suprised to find the high number of websites for “cougar hunting.”  Apparently some people consider women “cougars” when they are only 34!  That seems young to me, though another definition was “anyone more than 7 years your age.”  Frightening.  Go find out where urban cougars hang out in your city here.

I love drastic double meanings in language.  Keeps me amused on the internet, and in business.  Amen!

I will be in DC the weekend of Apr. 25 around Dupont Circle.  While I have technically been to DC, I found it bewildering in its labyrinthine Orwellianness.  DC makes me want to rock back and forth, autistically.  A town based around people who loooooove rules is frightening for me.  Perhaps I have it all wrong, but if only I could figure out how to get anywhere it would help.  Or if anyone who I asked directions of knew how to get anywhere.  Or if everyone in every bar wasn’t wearing a blue blazer and watching CNN.

This is to say, if you are there, we should have brunch or something.  I am thinking of going to the Smithsonian.  I might actually go look at the mall or white house or something seeing as I spent 5 days there and saw neither last time.

But there will be eating and drinking on the subway.  Because no one tells me I can’t drink somewhere.  NOBODY.  It is my Bob-given right to hydrate, dagnabit.

At my community bulletin board we were having a discussion of the neighborhood’s gentrification.  Generally the fact that we have a community bulletin board on the internet screams gentrifying to me.  But yesterday as I was shopping, the Indian woman who checked me out at the grocery store complimented me on the color of my skin.  A very nice gesture, but it felt a little colonial.   I am The Man.

Do you live in DC, SC, NC, TN, PA, KY, LA, or AR? And do you love to listen to rock music? Or perhaps would you like to meet a Jew? Then perhaps you should go see a show by my friend Jared Friedman. He will be playing in your parts, and, in addition to being a smashing musician, he will let you in on how he controls the media for a dollar.  If you bargain with him.

You can listen to his musical stylings here and tour dates are as follows:

Oddly Mr. Friedman will not play alone here in NYC, so I will not be able to hear the awesomeness you can!

On a layover in the Cincinnati airport (which may actually be a bus station that my plane happened to land at), I had about three minutes to pick up a sandwich. I signed my credit card bill with my usual haste (my signature includes 6 letters, tops) and rearranged everything I was carrying. The woman behind the counter stopped me and asked if I was an artist. I replied in the negative and she began listing off other creative occupations. Musician, maybe? I was starved, sleep deprived, and in a hurry so I couldn’t figure out what she was getting at. I wasn’t dressed odd, but I thought to myself, “Maybe I look hip for Cincinnati?”*

Finally she said that my signature is indicative of high levels of creativity. She was sad when I said I do things “with computers (hey, I was tired).” I was interested in this assessment, but when I said something self-deprecating about how messy my handwriting was she said it was so, but in a designed/artistic way.

Take that Queens Board of Elections, who finds my signature too arty to allow me to vote. And now I am sad to have let down an airport newsstand clerk who has an awesome hobby. I didn’t want to tell her I pretty much do the opposite of art, though I do use the whiteboard more than my coworkers.

*Though I spent scant minutes in Cin City, and they were all in the airport, I definitely did get a sense that even boring me was way hipper than your average person coming through the Cincinnati bus station airport.