quinoa

gouache

hijinks

Apparently I love saying WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Dwight Yoakam used to do impressions of Richard Nixon.

*According to wikipedia

Air Canada makes you pay for heavy bags, unless they are filled with hockey equipment.

Nikolai Tesla was obsessed with communication with aliens (odd fact one).  When he died he left behind what appeared to be a molted skin, like he literally shuffled off his mortal coil (odd fact two), which leads people to believe maybe he was an alien or time traveler (odd fact three).  The FBI kept tabs on Nikolai, and his file is still sealed (odd fact four), further bolstering the aforementioned belief that he is an alien.

My sister: “Does skin flute mean gay?”

Me: “No, it means penis.”

MS: “I am so glad you are my sister.  You’re so knowledgeable about dirty things.”

Then she sang me a song about how I am a world of knowledge.

These are contractions for interbreeding I find amusing:
female donkey + male horse = Hinny
female lion + male tiger = Tigon
female horse + male zebra = Zorse
female donkey + male zebra = Zonkey
female shetland pony + male zebra = Zetland
bison bull + female cow = Beefalo
female llama + male camel = Cama
swan + goose = Swoose
sheep + goat = Shoat (or Geep)

Geep!  But the thing I find disturbing is Beefalo.  Is that the only animal named specifically for the product it becomes?

Best use of science I have seen lately.  All studies that confirm Bruce Springsteen lyrics are awesome.

Jenn and Lisa have been officially called out for commentary.

New Yorkers bite people four times as much as rats bite New Yorkers, even though there are about twelve rats for every person here.

Most serial killers start killing at the average age of 28.5.  This struck me as I am 28.9.  My first thought upon reading this was, “Phew, dodged that bullet.”  Which is an idiotic response first, because I have never had the urge to kill serially, but also because that stat is probably based on men anyway, so it isn’t even accurate, I bet.

I am so glad they went with the French.

Who’s going with me to the world’s most amazing chainsaw carving competition?  I refuse to go to any lesser competitions.  And it takes a lot to get me to go to Northern PA.

There is traditional numerical jargon for counting sheep.  My favorites are:
1………………..Yan
2………………..Tan
3………………Tether
4……………..Mether
5…………………Pit
6………………Tayter
7………………Layter
8………………Overa
9……………..Covera
10………………Dicks
11…………Yan-a-Dicks
12…………Tan-a-Dicks
13………Tether-a-Dicks
14……..Mether-a-Dicks
15…………….Bumfit
16……….Yan-a-Bumfit
17……….Tan-a-Bumfit
18……..Tether-a-Bumfit
19…….Mether-a-Bumfit
20………………Gun a gun