I know I am a librarian, and thus know far too many people with them, but apparently it’s illegal to write a blog post today if it isn’t about cats.  Did anything happen today for anyone that doesn’t involve cats?  I was allergic all day at work, and now I am wondering if it’s because of Official Cat Day.  Anyone who has a not cat story to share, please blow up the comments.

Regarding my pets, my new Scooba is broken.  We’re getting him a new tank.  iRobot customer service rocked out.  I still haven’t named the new Scooba, but please feel free to offer names for Fido’s brother!  Perhaps Kitty?

I started off buy nothing day with consumerism!  A Christmas present for me!  A new robot!  A Scooba!

At least Fido will get some company.  And it was really cheap on Woot.com.

Speaking of presents, you people I am supposed to send presents to have to post the same offer on YOUR blogs, and I haven’t seen that happening.  Don’t make me Scrooge on your presents!

I do not know my neighbors.  I have never seen them.  But either they just got a new yappy dog, or I just got new neighbors who happen to have a yappy dog.  I imagine it’s the former.

I can hear the yappy dog all the time.  Sometimes they take him to a room where I cannot hear him.  I know this, because if I am inside I cannot hear him, but when I walk outside I CAN hear him, so he’s in a room facing away from my apartment.  Yay.

Yappy dog likes to traipse around outside of my door in the wee hours of the weekend mornings.  In and out.  In and out.  Yapyapyapyapyapyap.  It is non stop.  Sometimes they literally have him in our lobby, inches from my door, and sometimes in a room just inside their door.  For hours.  I can hear this in from my dark, dark bedroom.  When I come in the building he can hear me at the door and freaks out with the yapping and scratching.
This has been ongoing for a week.  I thought, maybe it’s a new dog, maybe I will give them a couple of days for the dog to chill out in his new place.  But a week?  Oh no, this must stop.
Seeing as I don’t know my neighbors, what is the best way to approach this, before I knock on their door at 7am on Sat screaming, “I will drown your hellhound if you do not make him stop with the yapping.”

Have you even walked by a building knowing that if you went inside, you would be killed?

That’s been my situation to and from work yesterday and today as the Westminster Kennel Club has taken over the Madison Square Garden right by my workplace. The best part today was seeing people carry VERY large dogs so they wouldn’t get their feet sullied.  What might they get their feet sullied on?  Dogshit.  It’s everywhere.  Way to go, show dogs/owners.

You know it’s too hot out, and you’ve been packing alone too long when you yell “No Roomba!  No UHOH!” at an inanimate object.  Well maybe a semi-animate object.

I swear my Roomba, starved for attention, hides under the bed and screams “Uh-OH!” only to have me climb under there and have there be no problem.  People, it is frightening the lifelike pet nature of my roomba.  It used to be a joke, and it is now just frightening.

I have a Roomba.  It is hilarious.

Generally, I dislike when people go on ad infinitum about their pets or children.  If their pets or children did something cool, or out of the ordinary, I am totally excited to hear about it.  However, stories about nothing involving their pets or children, I sort of don’t care about.  I am not going to pretend I am interested, and I don’t want to see pictures, again, unless your pets or children are doing something actually interesting.  Thankfully most of my friends only talk about their interesting POC moments.  However, pretty much every single librarian I have met owns or loves talking about cats, so I must be armed.
In order to gain a counterpoint to these lame POC discussions (and to keep my house sparkly) I have acquired the robotic vacuum known as the Roomba.  Anytime someone tells me a boring ordinary PoC story, I am going to tell them a Roomba story.  I have yet to decide whether I will name my pet Roomba, but I am thinking Fido.

My Roomba zooms about randomly and then suddenly gets obsessive compulsive over 1 square foot of my floor.  It makes funny noises which require me to yell “Roomba!  What have you gotten yourself into NOW?”  When it does get into trouble it yells a little “UH OH!” and I go rescue it.  Most frighteningly AI, when it can’t pick something up, it bats it around and brings it to me.  So I’ll be sitting and all of a sudden there’s a candy in the middle of the floor.  Or a scrunched up napkin that had fallen behind the chair.  Awesome Roomba!

So, next time I get a photo of your cat in a santa hat drooling, don’t be surprised if you get a christmas card with me and Fido.