Law & Order SVU Exchange:

“I was just trying to help her up!”

“With your…penis?”

————————————-

“that’s because i kicked her in between her whoring legs!”

————————————-

“You shook that baby!  You shook that baby!  You shook that baby!  You shook that baby, Drew, and then you got your rocks off!” (Shaken Baby Syndrome)

“Find the hand, find the perp.”

————————————-

“Well somebody touched Megan Rose with a cheese grater!” (foster kids)

————————————-

“So she buys him breakfast and he rapes her for lunch.”

I have recently begun watching law & order.  I had oddly never seen an episode, and I am really not the kind of person who can only see part of a show and enjoy it.  As a person without a tv or cable, this essentially guaranteed I would never see an episode.

Now that I finally have, I do love it, much like everyone else.  So I started watching it in order–from season 1.  I am currently watching the SVU one, which is wall to wall assault on women & children.  It’s odd that there’s a show revolving around sexual assault but that means people say hilarious things on the show extremely seriously.  Things that in any other contexts would not fly on tv are said completely in passing on the show.  So I am beginning a new series.  Wacky Shit Said on SVU (followed by the weird sex act theme of the episode). Today’s are:

Never trust a woman with a pulse (sex with women in comas)

She’s hot but schoolgirls aren’t my scene. (pedophilia)

Why would I mess with jailbait when I can get it with her moms? (pedophilia)

Your little tadpoles swam in all by themselves. (pedophilia)

In chicago that yoga studios really love puns. I’ve seen them a little bit elsewhere but never to this extent.  I mean here, they’ll go for a pun even if it’s a slam against their business, or makes them look way not serious.

My favorites are Om on the Range and Self Centered Yoga.