I learned something last night.  Something very important.  How to make the most amazing apple sauce ever and be a lazy ass.  Let me teach you.

Lazy Ass Applesauce

or, How to Wake Up to a House That Smells Like Strudel

Ingredients:

• Apples.  Enough to fill up your crock pot.  In many varieties
• Water
• Brown sugar
• Cinnamon
• Vanilla
• Salt

1. After you finish dinner, cut up apples.  I know, what a pain in the ass, right?  But don’t worry about cutting them up into tiny pieces.  As long as you avoid stems and seeds, all is well.  Leave those skins on.  Don’t you like fiber?
2. Put apples in your crockpot.  Basically you will yield 1/2 the volume of the crockpot.
3. How sweet do you want it?  Brown sugar is more of a flavoring here than a sweetener.  Put in a tablespoon at least, but just crumble some on top.
4. Put some cinnamon in.  I like a lot.  How about you?
5. Put in a very small amount of vanilla.  Less than a teaspoon definitely.
6. I have kosher salt.  i just sprinkled a little bit on top.  You can always put more on later.
7. Now, I have a tendency to put more water than needed in a crockpot, because I forget it doesn’t evaporate.  More water=watery-er applesauce.  I put a few ladles full, in order to wash off the spices on top of the apples.  You shouldn’t be able to see the water through the densely packed apples.
8. Put the top on.  Put it on low.
9. Forget about that.  Do some other stuff.
10. Go to bed.  This is a marathon not a sprint.  Sleep a good 7 hours.
11. Wake up.  Feel extremely happy about the delicious smell in your house.
12. Use a hand blender to mash the now brown and gooey apples.
13. Eat
14. Optionally, you can add a teaspoon of lemon juice in step 4, but it’s mainly for color.