I really like the idea of America.  Like, really like it.  Like, broke down into tears at the Library of Congress like it.  I like OG America though, not really new America.  And though I call myself a Libertarian when pressed to choose a party, many people have argued I am not because several of my beliefs are completely out of line with Libertarian thought.  Which is wildly true, but 1. there’s not any other party which is CLOSER to my political beliefs and 2. We live in a country that is democratic and a republic, and thus, as the country was set up, some non-libertarian things must stand (notably, public education).

So, if you are sick of my snarky frustrated comments that are equally anti-McCain and Obama this season, you might want to stop here.  Otherwise, herein (woo–constitutional!) I will identify my strong political beliefs and we can all decide who I should vote for.

1. Immigration– I haven’t seen that big green lady with the sign up close, but I am pretty sure her whole deal is we accept anyone in any condition.  I don’t believe in illegal immigrants.  I think it’s hypocritical to have quotas.  While I am all for a citizenship test, and say, a certain number of years residence, I would prefer someone who busts their ass to get here and make a living be a citizen over a person born here who couldn’t answer the questions on the test.  I think it’s awesome that lots of people want to live in my country!  I think the main reason people are anti-naturalization is benefits.  So perhaps we should hinge that on other things?  I dunno.

2. Health care–Holy Jeebus, socialized health care is the only way to go.  At the very least for emergency health care, although I think study after study has shown that’s way more expensive than doing preventative health care as well.  The whole idea of a government is to protect their citizenry from harm.  That’s mainly taken to mean a standing army, but in this time period, I can’t imagine anything that prevents people from experiencing life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness like poor health care and bankrupting insurance.  And if the government has a monetary interest in the health of people, then maybe lobbyists for

3. Drugs–In the short term, I am for the legalization of all drugs (all.  all.  yes, heroin.  yes, all.) regulated in the same way cigarettes or booze is.  States can determine more extreme laws to regulate that if they want, but clean, taxed, less stigmatized drugs equals a lot of money for most governments and less people dying of bad drugs/wacky dosages.

4. Abortion–I am a very rational person, generally.  This is an area in which I am not rational.  Abortion, legal all kinds, all times.  No consent forms.

5. Taxes–I am no economist.  This is generally out of my depth, as it is for most Americans.  But I am very pro a waaaaaaaaaaay more simplified tax situation.  No writeoffs, religions (and religiously derived non-profits) are taxed, including property.  Companies are taxed.  No, really, how they actually should be, no writeoffy lobbyists.  Flat taxes for them!  Woo!  And no tax breaks for having children.

6. Education–All the Education money gets divided equally per student, with maybe some differences for cost of living. Definitely kids should be allowed to go to any public school, regardless of district.  More magnet schools, including for disadvantages as well as advantages (i.e. magnet school for kids with XYZ learning disability).  Way more stringent rules on home schooling.  No funding for school sports.  Again this is an area I could know a lot more about and I don’t have a complete solution.  But I strongly believe as, say, Thomas Jefferson did, that a democracy rests on an educated electorate.  I would also like it if religions could not have schools.  But I think that’s not based in any reason.  Just my personal dislike of religions.

7. Marriage–I don’t want gays to be able to legally marry, but I also don’t want heterosexuals to either.  Marriage (as currently construed) has no place in a legal venue.  It’s a religious bond.  Yay.  So civil unions for everyone, which include property/financial rights, next of kin, custody, etc.  No tax breaks for getting married, either.

8. Transportation–Driving a car should be extremely more expensive in America.  And carry way more responsibility.  Drinking (or drugging) and driving should ban you from operating a car, first time, for years.  Five, maybe?  Also, in urban centers, cars would be banned from most places in Jennylandia.  And by banned, I mean prohibitively expensive.  Taxing vehicles in large urban centers would give us enough money to build a far more extensive public transit infrastructure, a la Europe.  Driving tests would be way harder and driving instruction far more professional/required.  I love that there’s all this talk about finding new driving technology so we are not so dependent on other countries’ oil, when this country used to have a public transit infrastructures in most cities that would have avoided the need for cars in most places.

9. Environment–More nuclear power plants, simply.  Water, wind, wolar, that’s cool too.  Some research on alternates to gasoline for the short term.

10. Guns–I like them.  I feel very uncertain about how to legislate them.  Essentially, if you force people to register their guns, you are defeating the purpose of having them in case of a rogue government.  I know legal gun owners aren’t the problem.  And I think legalizing concealed weapons is great.

11. Foreign Policy–I know the secret to “why they hate us”–it’s that we are in a freaking codependent relationship with Israel.  We need to cut that out.  I know it’s unpopular to say, but historically we have always backed terrorists who kill tons of innocent people.  We just happen to like certain terrorists more than others.  Let’s stop that.  Also, can we start treating Putin like the crazy, crazy KGB agent he really is?  And not be all buddy buddy with a dictator who kills all opposing forces in the media?  That would be amazing.  Also, could we stop bombing civilians anywhere? I agree that just leaving Iraq tomorrow would make that whole region way more unstable, but I don’t think forcing people who hate us to make a “democracy” that idolizes America will work out either.  Do we really need another country where we will have military bases FOREVER?  A hasty look at the pornography of Germany and Japan says that our intervention has seriously messed up those countries in a deep, deep (no pun intended) way.

12. Civil liberties/torture– Uh clearly PATRIOT is evil, and I wouldn’t vote for anyone who voted for it.  The president and even federal government should not have as much power as it currently does.  Also, all people “detained”/arrested should get the full rights of any American citizen–habeas corpus, miranda, charges and arrest before incarceration, lawyers present, no torture etc.  Torture, while a moral issue, is more important here as an information issue.  As these are my areas of expertise (information AND confession.  it’s a useful intersection of expertise at this juncture), unlike, say, the economy, torture produces a lot of information.  Information that is unreliable, and, unless you have some other way to corroborate it (and, if you did, why would you be torturing someone?), is useless.  There are about 4 trillion studies that also show that people who torture will get crazy, and will not be able to keep it professional/aimed at actual answers.  Has anyone who is pro-torture ever watched Lost?  Seriously it doesn’t work.  http://dir.salon.com/story/opinion/feature/2004/06/21/torture_algiers/index.html

13. Military–not my area of expertise either, but I think universal military service is a great idea.

14. Foreign Aid–Helping other people is good.  And I’ll be all for helping other people in other countries when everyone in this country is adequately fed and clothed, well, and literate.  Get back to me when that happens, Bono.

Alright these are the basics.  So who should I vote for?