So, I like country music, especially the more gospelly inspired old tymey music. But a major problem with liking this music (for me) is it’s mainly about one guy. Jesus. And I am not Christian. But I am hard pressed to not sing along to fire and brimstone song about how the time is coming when the sinner must die. It’s kind of like white rich frat boys singing “Straight Out of Compton,” I guess.
So anyway there’s an excellent Porter Wagoner song called “What Would You Do (If Jesus Came to Your House)?” Basically he asks you if you’d have to hide your smut mags and if your dirty family would have nothing to talk about at the dinner table. This doesn’t really apply to me, as I am pretty sure that if Jesus came to my house 1. he already knows what I am like, 2. he’d forgive me for anything anyway, and 3. Uh hey Jesus, this is my house we play by my rules or you get yourself a hotel, mmmkay? Plus it would seem like more pressing Second Coming matters might be at hand. I’ve read Left Behind, I know the drill. In fact, I would totally recommend Jesus come to my house. He seems like a cool guy, and I’d never have to buy booze. I think we’d get along and I know a ton about the Rapture.
Anyway today as I was getting in my shower which I really have to clean, my first thought was, “If Jesus came to spend some time with me I would totally have to clean my shower. It’d be gross to leave it this way for any houseguest.” However in retrospect Jesus would probably be excited about modern plumbing in general and would not care about my shower. Plus he has bigger fish to fry. Still, Jesus is a good impetus for cleaning my house.