From Outpost 505:

Five Things I Think When I Visit Non-NYC Places:

  1. Holy crap! Not everyone here is physically honed to perfection!  I immediately feel less fat!
  2. Wow. I wear a LOT of black.
  3. Holy fuck if you do not fucking walk correctly I will fucking shiv you in the face you fucking whore.
  4. Everything is so new and clean!
  5. Why is everyone staring at me?  Oh maybe I shouldn’t say fuck 12 times.  In a church.


  1. pete says:

    yay Boston!

  2. Heidi says:

    Oh I want to do this for Kalamazoo sometime. I can only think of one right now though, which is that nobody puts on their turn signal until right when they get to the corner. They even drive like they just decided to turn when they get there too. Because nobody has anywhere else to be, except snowmobiling, I guess!

  3. Stephanie says:

    The walking thing is totally true. Its REALLY bad when I end up in a maill somewhere. Don’t ask why I am in a mall. I bet you end up in a mall once in a while. So stop judging me.

  4. jenny says:

    I am pro-mall. I think of malls the way most kids think of their awesome day care center of yesteryear.

    I feel malls around xmas are the worst, but I can get some people are there for fun. Airports to me are the most annoying though because CLEARLY EVERYONE is there to do something quickly.

  5. idun says:

    oh, girl, just come to KY — it’ll blow your mind!! and we can visit the creationism museum, yee-haw!

  6. jenny says:

    Well it’s definitely in the top 3 museums I want to see, and I have seen the other 2.

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