Via Grace, you can ask me any three questions in comments, as long as you’ll answer three of mine. I asked her three and here are mine. They highlight my bizarreness.
1. Do you believe in monogamy?
Ha. This is a great question. I don’t generally deal with this kinda thing in the blog. Hi professional friends! I am going to out myself here!
I believe people can do it. I believe there may be a tiny fraction of people out there well suited to it. Generally, yes, you got me, I don’t believe it’s the natural state of human. I think based on years of human history it is convenient, economical, and safe (i.e. “hey I can procreate and this man will protect my babies!”), but I generally think it’s outmoded, or, a good business deal. I think it’s a choice most people make rather than deal with jealousy/work on self-worth without a partner.
On the other hand, that’s their business. I shouldn’t make decisions for other people and if that’s what they want to do, I am glad everyone’s happy. Obviously that earlier paragraph is based on my personal experience, and as such I cannot fathom such a thing. More frequently, I think this is a side effect of my upbringing (my family really takes to alone time–all of them live alone, most have been divorced, none are super dependent on relationships at all). I think that, combined with a Depression style of thinking (if I turn this down now there will be none in the future!) make me sort of incapable of it. Most people have different life goals (i.e. raising a family) than I do, so it makes sense in that case.
I can understand making that deal with your partner, and I can understand the benefits, but, I can’t see enjoying it/sticking with it. I also have no self-discipline though, and cannot turn down pleasant things. I have a historical cheating record to back this up. I guess if I were in a monogamous relationship and never easily offered a way out, that record might be better, but I am guessing this isn’t the point. I am personally pretty incapable of not doing what I want to do just to make other people happy. I just couldn’t date someone who told me what to do like that. I know this sounds crazy to other people, but if your SO told you you couldn’t be friends with someone, would that be okay? It wouldn’t for me–it’s the same thing with seeing other people.
Basically when super pro-monogamy people discuss this with me, I feel similar to how I feel when super-evangelical people talk to me. “Oh you just haven’t met X!” X being either “The One” or Jesus. That’s ridiculously patronizing. Similarly when people talk about their rich relationship with Jesus, on one hand, that’s cool by me and I respect that, and on the other hand, I find it ridiculous to take serious an adult’s relationship with an imaginary friend. So I ebb between, “Ah monogamy, good for them!” and “Ha, suckers….I guess we’ll hang out after the divorce party.”
Have I alienated every reader yet? I guess I would be more positive about it if I knew more completely unattached single people who stayed cool when they coupled up. Not that coupled up people are not cool, but generally, if you know the person pre-couple, it’s a lot like your friend dies, and their more lame twin can now hang out with you only at the whim of their schedule, and always with their partner. Suddenly they insist they have always loved classical music when previously they listened to rap.
When people get married, I tend to give them a cast iron skillet, because I know that will last longer than their marriage whether they stay together or not. See? I am a romantic cheater.
2. If you had to have a pet, what type of animal would you choose (assuming no allergies)?
Well I have had fish and a tarantula, but having pets creeps me out. I don’t believe in animal domestication, personally. It just seems like having a slave–look I have trapped an animal that belongs outside in my house and made it amuse me! Which, is the right of humans as the head of the food chain to do, but it doesn’t mean I want to participate. Also, I think animals are gross, especially inside the house. Honestly though, I do love the look of dachshunds tho I would not want to touch them. I don’t think I could live with an animal that could physically (through might) kill me. I have considered a hermit crab. If I lived somewhere with a backyard I would consider a chicken or mini-goat for eggs/milk. Associating animals with asthma attack kind of puts a downer on them.
3. What do you eat for breakfast?
I go through phases where I do and don’t eat breakfast. If there are dinner leftovers, that is first on the list. I usually only want savory foods or something with A LOT of protein. Recently I have been on a raisin bread and peanut butter kick. I went through an oatmeal phase in grad school–also, a fried egg sandwich, only tolerable due to cheese and green hot sauce. I also eat hummus on bread most of the time, because it’s so easy. Bagel/cream cheese is always a good standby here. I can’t do anything in the morning that requires more than just taking it out of the fridge. I recently noticed they serve regular (not breakfast) tacos by my subway stop in the morning and I made a mental note about how tasty that would be. I hate milk, so I have done cereal and rice milk, but I hate the sweet, and am hungry like, 3 mins later. Same with fruit or yogurt. I haven’t had a steak for breakfast since visiting my dad last.*
Tomorrow I will be having kiwi and imitation crab. Separately.
LONGEST BLOG POST EVER. I feel like Mark.
*Growing up I ate a steak for breakfast every. single. day.