Ah every Thanksgiving reminds me of my favorite Tgiving ever, Jaundicewatch 2001!

It was my first Tgiving after college, and I had recently gotten a job (read: insurance). I had also been having chronic horrific pain in my abdomen. Horrible pain. Pain that made me hurl and pass out. The pain that one without insurance is sure will cost a LOT of money. So shortly before Tgiving I went to the dr. with my horrid pain.

My gallbladder had rebelled! Not only did I have gallstones, but I had PASSED gallstones to my liver. For those of you unfamiliar with the gallbladder, you should not be passing any stones–it’s too small an opening.

So with the holiday and all, they said they’d take out the gallbladder AFTER Tgiving. Hey wait, I can live without it? Okedoke. All I had to do over Thanksgiving was not eat ANY FAT and also, make sure people watched me for jaundice. So my friends came over and watched me for jaundice and played boardgames and watched football. And you know how easy it is on Thanksgiving to not eat fat, right? And I didn’t get jaundice and I did get my gallbladder removed and they wouldn’t let me keep it. I thought women had rights over their body, didn’t you?
So for 5 years I have been missing my organ. But I don’t miss the HORRIFIC pain it caused me, which people still marvel at how I waited so long (about 6 months). In honor of my missing gallbladder I will now eat some cheese, the one thing I completely missed during the fatless period (milk is also really bad for GB issues). Other than that actually going back to food with fat in it was totally gross. If only I had become some health nut. No, I overcame it and will be happily fatting it up today!

Jaundicewatch showed me that my favorite Tgivings have been with friends and not necessarily turkeys. And it brought several offensive mantras into my life that I cannot think of without laughing hysterically. So I hope you are sharing this Thanksgiving with someone, whether new friends or old family. And please, eat something fatty for those of us who could not!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Please enjoy this audiobook version of “Dialogue between Franklin and the Gout,” which is very on topic.